Matt Nightingale

My name is Matt Nightingale, and I’m a pastor and spiritual director from the San Francisco Bay Area. I co-pastor The Quest, a progressive American Baptist church in Novato. I received my spiritual director training/certification from The Journey Center Association, and I’m a member of Spiritual Directors International. I’ve been working with The Christian Closet since 2019, offering individual spiritual direction sessions and facilitating support groups for queer men in mixed-orientation marriages.

I am passionate about the intersection of sexuality and spirituality, and I work to create safe, sacred space for people exploring these identities. I have a special connection to people who find themselves in mixed-orientation marriages. I myself came out of the closet later in life, after a 23-year marriage and a long career as a worship pastor in evangelical churches.

In 2016, I had the privilege of giving a TEDx talk with my former wife, Luanne, called Choosing Gratitude and Hope. It tells our story of mixed-orientation marriage, our evolving understanding of faith and sexuality, and the painful but necessary choice of divorce, all within the context of gratitude and hope. It’s been viewed nearly 40,000 times, and I have had the privilege of meeting and working with many others in similar circumstances since then.